Our Kind of Wonderful

It's a little before 7am.  The summer sun is peeking in through our bedroom blinds and reflecting off the little blond strands on Baby Dallas' almost bald head.  I'm still a little sleepy from my 1am bedtime and waking up every 2 hours for his nightly feedings, but this might just be my favorite time of day.   As I watch my sweet boy lying next to me, freshly diapered and full-tummied, I can't help but be smitten by his content, dimply little smile.  Those bright gray-brown eyes staring up at me like I'm the best thing in the world. 


I talk to him for a few minutes and he coos back, grinning every time he sees me smiling back at him.  After a while, his little voice become softer and his coos longer, a sure sign that he is getting sleepy.  With one arm, he reaches out until he can wrap his tiny hand around my finger, the other hand tugging at his ear.  I pull him in close to me and laugh when I realize his toes now reach halfway down my thigh.  (He sure didn't want to stay a newborn very long!)

Only a couple more minutes and my handsome little baby is fast asleep in my arms.  And as I lay there watching his little tummy move up and down and the soft smiles that keep dancing across his face, I can't help to think back to a year ago.  It was about this time when I found out I was pregnant.  Just a week before that we were driving back from Jacksonhole with Josh's parents and we somehow got on the subject of having more babies.  We both said that we were pretty sure that we were done -  how we'd love to have more but that it was just to complicated (and expensive!) to have another. But I also told them I was worried that I would always wonder if we were supposed to have one more.  If I would spend the rest of my life thinking about this other little person I was supposed to bring into the world.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was already pregnant.

I can still remember the little feeling of panic that came over me when we learned the news.  My mind tends to do more leading than my heart, and it took me a couple days to stop myself from analyzing the logistics.  All of a sudden there was this sense of peace surrounding me.  And today, as I snuggled up to our sweet little miracle, I felt that same peace.  My heart is so, so full of love for this baby boy... and grateful for a plan that is so much bigger than I could ever dream.