He looks like my husband. Talks like my husband. He even leaves his underwear on the bathroom floor, just like my husband. But I'm telling you, it can't be him.
You see, the man I married could live off Chili Mac or Crock pot Meatloaf every day of the week. His daily breakfast ritual was stopping at the gas station in his work truck for a bag of M&Ms, hot dog, and a Dr. Pepper. He rolled his eyes at words like "whole grain" or "organic" and would refuse anything that had the words "low fat" anywhere on the box. I tried and tried to convince him that we should be eating more healthy and that though he'd like to believe so... soda and fast food are not considered staples. What's worse, he refused to have any type of vegetables in our food, with the exception of an occasional helping of corn... or broccoli if it was smothered in cheese. Which means I either had to omit them completely or make a special plate, just for him. Oh, and don't even get me started on tomatoes. He couldn't even stand to watch me cut them. So me, being the sweet wife I am (ahem!) obliged these ridiculous requests of his and spent the last 5 years altering recipes for my anti-health husband. (Good thing my girls have not followed his example... they could live off fruits and veggies!)
Then, last Wednesday, he came home with this:
And starts telling me about this great health plan he discovered (he refuses to call it a diet!) that would get him in shape and give him six-pack abs in 6 weeks. A few hours later we loaded up the girls and headed to Winco for a 2 1/2 hour shopping trip to find low-fat, preservative free, all natural ingredients (have you tried all natural peanut butter? Gag me, seriously)... oh, and one of just about everything from the produce section. Say whaattt??
Gee thanks honey. NOW you decide this is a great idea. Now that you've got me addicted to caffeinated soda and McDonalds French Fries. Not to mention the fact that I have spent the last 6 years of my life sifting through recipes to find ones without all those vegetables you can't stand to eat. And yet, there you are, slicing up a big juicy tomato and red onion for your whole wheat tortilla and turkey bacon wrap. Fabulous.
I'm not saying this deal isn't without its perks.
1) He has completely taken over the cooking. Seriously. At least lunch and dinner. Sometimes breakfast. And surprisingly, the food hasn't been too bad. (Ask me in two weeks though... I'll probably beg you to get me a cheeseburger!)
2) Every other day I get a homemade smoothie before bed, or one waiting for me in fridge in the morning. And I do love me some smoothies.3) He'll finally get some use out of his make-shift home gym in our 3rd bay garage... complete with plasma TV and surround sound. (Someone please explain to me the necessity of surround sound in a garage??)
Oh, and guess how much trouble I'm going to be in when he sees that I posted this picture??
As for the longevity of this little "health plan"- stay tuned!
I'm curious too.
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